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Does scare-based education work?

system — Thu, 02 Apr 2026 05:27:49 +0000

Does scare-based education work?

Source: Parenting Education Specialist, Ken Sir

“If you don’t eat well, I won’t let you watch TV tonight.” In daily parenting, we often teach children in the form of threats, hoping that they will be obedient. But is this method effective? Will it backfire?

One time when I was taking a minibus, I saw a grandmother with two grandchildren getting on the minibus. As soon as they got on the bus, the two grandchildren immediately sat in the back seat, while the grandmother chose to sit in a single seat near the door. As soon as she sat down, she turned around and said to the two grandchildren, “I’m telling you to sit back next to me right now, or else I’ll leave you two here when we get off the bus.” As a result, one of the grandchildren shouted loudly from the back. What was he shouting? “You always say that; I don’t believe you.” This incident demonstrates that many parents are used to threatening their children during their childhood.

What are some examples of this? “If you don’t eat, I’ll turn off the TV,” or “If you don’t finish your homework quickly, there won’t be any ice cream for you tonight,” etc. In fact, these methods of parenting often make children treat things as unimportant. If parents frequently use these types of threats, their children will grow up and no longer take them seriously. Therefore, parents must remember that when we ask children to do something, it is best to directly tell them what we want them to do without adding too many elements of threats or coercion.

When there are differences in parenting, remember that “avoidance is not shameful and can be useful.”

system — Sat, 28 Feb 2026 00:47:00 +0000

When there are differences in parenting, remember that "avoidance is not shameful and can be useful."

Source: Family Dynamic Psychotherapist, Yuen Wai Man

Parents’ upbringing backgrounds, education levels, or family of origin may differ in parent-child interaction, so it is quite normal for parents to have differing opinions on something.

When there are indeed different opinions, parents should find a calm environment to discuss their own perspectives and views on the problem. In any situation, we don’t want parents to argue directly in front of their children. For example, Dad can explain to Mom, “When I’m unhappy or under work pressure, I use my phone to vent and reduce stress, so I don’t think it’s a problem for kids to play with phones.”

And the wife can also express this to her husband: “Actually, I hope you can support me and understand that taking care of children is also very difficult for me.” Everyone can discuss calmly and equally in a peaceful environment. In fact, in the parenting environment, parents’ steps must be consistent.

Parents, for example, are like dancing partners in parenthood. When the father steps forward, the mother should step back. When the father raises his arms, the mother should spin around. This is a natural rhythm. If they can work together effectively, not only the dancing couple but also the onlookers can enjoy the dance. But if everyone insists on their own stance without compromise, the dance will be a mess.

In the family environment, children are often the most faithful and loyal audience, always standing in the center of the hall watching how their parents dance. So if the parents dance poorly, the audience will also be restless, the atmosphere will become tense, and more problems will arise. On the dance floor, parents will also trample on each other, causing more pain.

If there is a situation where the parents cannot see eye to eye and are in a heated argument, we would suggest that one of them leaves the scene. It’s not a matter of winning or losing or saving face, but rather allowing everyone to catch their breath and take a break. In a family environment, it’s not a competition between parents because the real victim will always be the child. So when parents are in a heated argument and cannot compromise, one of them should step back, cool down, and leave the scene. This would be better for everyone involved.

Dual Efforts Lead to Faster and Better Learning for Children

system — Fri, 26 Dec 2025 10:20:33 +0000

Dual Efforts Lead to Faster and Better Learning for Children

Written by: Education Expert, Principal Kenneth Law

We all understand that each student is an independent individual, so the speed of learning varies. However, if there are methods that can make children learn faster and better, it is undoubtedly something both parents and teachers would be pleased to see. How to help children learn faster and better is also a topic of research for many scholars.

One key factor affecting the speed of a child’s learning is the amount of existing knowledge they possess. Existing knowledge refers to what the child has learned and mastered, not only the knowledge acquired in school but also part of the knowledge gained in daily life.

Learning is like building a scaffold, gradually laying a solid foundation.

Lev Vygotsky, a modern psychologist highly regarded, believes that the learning process is like constructing a “scaffold,” progressing from low to high, from small to large, using one metal rod at a time. The term “scaffold” is equivalent to the bamboo scaffolding commonly used by the Chinese. Of course, in the context of learning, it’s metaphorical.

Describing learning as constructing a scaffold brings several insights. Firstly, laying a solid foundation is crucial. Secondly, learning must proceed step by step; if one rushes and neglects certain aspects, the knowledge won’t be firmly established. Furthermore, as long as one diligently learns step by step, they will surely accumulate more and more knowledge. Additionally, different individuals can construct different shapes of bamboo scaffolding, and knowledge is not static; it evolves continuously with the development of the times.

Once the learning theory of Vygotsky is understood, the importance of existing knowledge becomes self-evident. Existing knowledge is like a bamboo scaffold already constructed, and new knowledge is added on top of the existing scaffold, making it higher and larger. The more existing knowledge one has, the more reliable it becomes, and learning new things becomes easier. There’s no need to look around distractedly, and the learning speed becomes faster.

Make good use of spare time to broaden the scope of knowledge

The content learned and the time spent in school by students may not be extensive. Therefore, making good use of spare time becomes relatively important in enhancing a child’s academic performance. Making good use of spare time does not mean participating in more training classes or doing additional supplements. On the contrary, because schools already provide comprehensive and systematic courses, it is even more crucial to focus on expanding a broader range of knowledge during spare time, making the foundation of the “bamboo scaffold” broader.

Reading books, visiting museums and exhibitions, and traveling along nature trails can all broaden a child’s horizons and expand their range of knowledge. Parents can allow children to have more autonomy, letting them choose activities they enjoy. Providing children with the space to make choices can also cultivate their ability for self-directed learning, self-discipline, and a sense of responsibility, which are essential for their future.

Did not take medicine when sick, waiting for the body to recover on its own and then develop antibodies?

system — Wed, 26 Nov 2025 10:14:49 +0000

Did not take medicine when sick, waiting for the body to recover on its own and then develop antibodies?

Source：Pediatric Specialist Doctor, Chiu Cheung Shing

When children get sick, some parents may become very anxious and immediately take their child to the doctor or give them medicine. However, some parents believe that if they wait for a while, the child will naturally recover. In reality, this approach is somewhat correct to a certain extent. For mild illnesses like the common cold or cough, allowing the child to rest can help them develop some antibodies that can protect them from future infections. However, parents should be aware that not all illnesses can be treated this way.

For some strong bacteria, waiting for a natural recovery can be dangerous. For example, with bacteria like Streptococcus pneumoniae or Neisseria meningitidis, if you wait for natural recovery, there can be serious consequences. Within 24 hours of infection, 1 in 10 people may die. Even if death doesn’t occur, 1 to 2 individuals may end up with lifelong disabilities or complications. So whether you wait for natural recovery or not depends on whether the illness is mild or severe.

Secondly, in the case of some illnesses, even if a doctor can diagnose the condition, the effects of medication may not necessarily be immediate. As mentioned earlier, with bacteria like Streptococcus pneumoniae, there can sometimes be antibiotic resistance. That’s why there’s a saying that “diseases are shallow in Chinese medicine.” Doctors may not always prescribe medication; what’s most important is whether you develop complications or have any hidden risks.

On the other hand, taking medication is symptom management, which may not always be the most critical factor. Whether you wait for natural recovery depends on your luck. If it’s just a mild illness, waiting for natural recovery is fine, but if it’s a severe illness, it could lead to regrets. So from a doctor’s perspective, it’s always better to be cautious, meaning that life should never be used as a gamble.

Being a parent can be stressful; it’s important to manage anxiety promptly

system — Mon, 06 Oct 2025 05:29:32 +0000

Being a parent can be stressful; it's important to manage anxiety promptly

Source: Psychiatrist Dr. Wong Chun Yin

As parents, we have to juggle work and family responsibilities. Under significant stress, it’s easy to experience anxiety. Anxiety is a natural, built-in response, and it can protect us when our lives are threatened. However, excessive worry can lead to physical discomforts like a racing heart, stomachaches, muscle tension, rapid breathing, headaches, trembling hands, sweating, or frequent urination. If not addressed in a timely manner, it can lead to more serious emotional issues and can also affect family relationships.

Here are three ways to reduce anxiety symptoms. First is practicing relaxation through deep breathing, using diaphragmatic breathing. Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of 4, letting your abdomen rise for 2 seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 4. Pause for 2 seconds and repeat this process 5 to 10 times.

The second method is muscle relaxation exercises. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down, gently close your eyes, and relax all your muscles. Start by shifting your focus to your feet, tense the muscles in your feet for 10 seconds, and then release. Proceed sequentially, tensing and relaxing the muscles in your legs, arms, neck, and facial muscles.

Lastly, there is imagery relaxation practice. In a quiet place, close your eyes and imagine a comfortable setting, visualizing what you see, hear, smell, and feel for 5 to 10 minutes. Gradually return to the present reality.

Additionally, it’s important to cultivate a positive thinking pattern in your daily life. Try to see the bright side of things at all times rather than dwelling on unhappy thoughts constantly, which can reduce the chances of developing mood disorders.

How to cultivate a child’s manners? Respect and attention are essential

system — Mon, 01 Sep 2025 23:44:38 +0000

How to cultivate a child's manners? Respect and attention are essential

Written by: Education expert, Principal Cheung Wai jing

At a talent recruitment event for a large multinational company, both Siu Cheung and Siu Choi successfully passed the initial and follow-up interviews. They stood out from over 100 competitors. Whether it was written tests or communication skills, both were equally impressive, leaving the human resources department’s evaluators in a dilemma, as the company would only hire one person.

In the end, the company manager decided to personally interview both candidates. Surprisingly, after just a few minutes, the manager chose to hire Siu Cheung. When asked for the reason, the manager candidly stated, “The reason is simple. When I was speaking to them, Siu Cheung maintained eye contact with me the whole time, while Siu Choi was looking around, indicating that he wasn’t good at actively listening to others. Being adept at listening and respecting clients is a crucial requirement for a sales supervisor.”

Expressing Sincerity and Respect through Eye Contact

This example illustrates a straightforward lesson: eyes are the windows to the soul, and people use their gaze to convey a range of emotions such as respect, attention, disdain, and indifference. Therefore, maintaining consistent eye contact during conversations signifies your sincerity. Moreover, those who can attentively focus on others’ words without shifting their gaze will naturally earn gratitude and respect from others.

Schools often organize activities centered around the theme of “politeness” to encourage students to be courteous to others. “Others” includes not only family members, elders, teachers, and fellow students but also unfamiliar people. Children should learn early on about polite phrases like “good morning” and “thank you,” but many still don’t proactively greet others, let alone observe other daily life etiquette. Schools focus on teaching students how to behave politely when interacting with teachers and peers in the school setting; the rest relies on family education.

The example of “job hunting” mentioned above might not be applicable to elementary school students for the time being, but they also frequently have opportunities for interviews. If they want to leave a good impression on others, children must learn to use their eyes to show their attention and respect when conversing with others. Therefore, parents need to teach children the skills and art of listening. Of course, when parents listen to their children, they should also give them appropriate respect and attention. This way, children will learn that politeness in interpersonal interactions knows no age or status boundaries. Here are three listening tips:

When listening to someone, avoid looking around and instead focus on the person’s eyes.
When you understand or share the same sentiment, use your eyes to communicate and show agreement.
Gazing at someone doesn’t mean staring fixedly at them; doing so can actually come across as impolite.

In literature, characters are often described as having “eyes that speak.” In reality, everyone has eyes like that; as long as we utilize them well, they can be more persuasive than the words we speak.

How to handle a child’s anxiety about starting primary school?

system — Tue, 15 Jul 2025 09:30:22 +0000

How to handle a child's anxiety about starting primary school?

Source: Marriage and Family Therapist, Ng Yee Kam

When a child enters first grade and fails to adapt, some may frequently express their longing for their mothers at school and even experience a loss of appetite. Parents are concerned about their child’s anxiety and may continuously tell them, “As long as you do your best, Mom doesn’t care about grades!” But does this approach effectively address the child’s anxiety, or does it backfire?

First of all, parents need to understand that the transition from kindergarten to first grade is a significant change for a child. It truly takes a long time for the child to adapt. In the first-grade stage, the workload increases, rules become stricter, and teachers are more demanding. Children may experience anxiety, leading to various physical symptoms or fear of going to school.

So, how much time does a child need to adapt? It actually varies from person to person. Generally speaking, more introverted or observant children are prone to anxiety, so it may take them a relatively longer time to adapt. Therefore, parents should first understand their child’s personality and temperament, adjust their expectations during this adaptation period, and never compare their child with other children.

Dr. Daniel Siegel, an American psychiatrist, has proposed a very useful method called “Name it to Tame it.” When parents observe emotional fluctuations in their children, they first use their left brain to analyze what might be happening with their child. Parents should use both their left and right brains, empathizing with the child’s feelings and situation, and then verbalize what they perceive the child is feeling. This is the “Name it” step.

For example, you can say to your child, “Are you feeling scared? Are you feeling worried? It seems like you have no appetite. Is there something you’re anxious about?” When we are able to express the child’s emotions, we are actually delineating what the child is experiencing in their right brain very clearly.

For older children, parents can encourage them to express their emotions themselves, and parents can respond to them. This connection between the adult’s and the child’s right brain helps stabilize anxious emotions. We refer to this process as “Connect.” After the connection is established, we can engage in conversation about other topics with the child.

However, parents should remember that when a child expresses their emotions, we must avoid saying things like, “Don’t worry, it’s silly, don’t think about these things,” or “You’re fine as you are, just do your best.” If we respond with our left brain, we cannot alleviate the right brain’s anxiety or bring calmness to the child’s midbrain responsible for emotions.

Lastly, when parents are able to use emotional vocabulary and verbalize what is happening in the child’s mind, it means transforming some of the emotions in the right brain into left brain cognition. This process is called “Redirect.” When we cognitively understand what we are experiencing and feeling, our right brain will find ways to solve the problem, which is referred to as “Problem Solving.”

The sequence mentioned above is crucial when dealing with a child’s anxiety and nervousness. Besides the order, parents also need to have patience. We need to be patient in helping the child understand their emotions so that we can come up with strategies together.

Blank Days During the Summer Vacation

system — Thu, 26 Jun 2025 00:14:52 +0000

Blank Days During the Summer Vacation

Written by: Lam Ho Pui Yee, Founder & Volunteer Director of Good Love Passion

Many parents make great efforts to fill their children’s summer vacations with activities, as in the parents’ eyes, if the summer time is not spent on learning, it will be wasted. Attending tutorial classes, hobby classes, and summer camps, or even going abroad for study tours, have become the norm. But what would a summer without any extra classes or talent training be like? Can parents give their children a true summer vacation?

Who says that giving children a summer vacation without extra classes and crammed schedules means they lose learning opportunities? Alvin Rosenfeld, the author of “The Over-Scheduled Child” and an American scholar, has pointed out that reserving enough blank time for children actually allows them the space and opportunity to find and develop their personal interests. Many groundbreaking theories were also born during periods of unstructured time. For example, after graduating from university, Einstein was unemployed and had to work at the patent office cataloging strange inventions. He used this blank time to ponder constantly, and eventually discovered the revolutionary concept of relativity. Similarly, during the great plague outbreak in London, Newton had an entire year to retreat to the countryside and lie on the lawn, thinking freely without distractions. It was then that he observed an apple falling from a tree – something he likely would have missed had he remained in the bustling city of London.

Therefore, by leaving blank days during the summer vacation, a child’s mode of thinking will be more prominent, whereas when the schedule is packed full, even the best minds will be in vain. Please leave some time for your children, allow them to allocate their own time, encourage them to engage in lengthy blank periods and slow contemplation of life experiences, and even permit them to waste some time doing silly things. Within these two months, they should say “I love you” to two family members at least 30 times, hug those two family members once a day for three consecutive days, refrain from using their smartphones for a day, and attend a music concert or watch a sports game. Let them walk to the beach or grassy areas to play, run, and shout to their heart’s content, take the initiative to care for those who need care, such as visiting elderly neighbors living alone, and writing an encouraging letter to an old classmate or elderly family member.

Let’s allow our children to experience different lifestyles and have a fulfilling yet unhurried summer vacation!

Becoming child’s mirror

system — Sat, 03 May 2025 00:15:43 +0000

Becoming child's mirror

Written by: Founder & Volunteer Director of Good Love Passion　

　　　 Lam Ho Pui Yee

Parents are the ones from whom young children observe and learn correct and appropriate behaviors. Children learn values, beliefs and attitudes from their parents and family members, so even though there are many educational institutions in society, the family is still the center of education and has the most profound impact on a person. The more good habits a person has, the better his or her character will be, and all habits begin with the parents.

For example, an immature person acts like a child, making poor judgments and making bad decisions, being self-centered and wanting everyone to do what he or she says, and being irresponsible and unable to play his or her role. How can parents help their children to become wise, judgmental, loving, non-egoistic, responsible and willing to take responsibility?

I suggest that parents should treat their children with the following behaviors and values as early as possible, because before the age of one, children mainly rely on their sense of touch to understand the world, and they are always observing and absorbing stimuli and learning from the environment, including adults’

words, actions and sounds, which are the objects of imitation and the basis of learning. Through continuous training and efforts, we can teach them to behave seriously. Therefore, parents must.

Trust your child

Recognize the child’s ability to do what the child wants to do, we as parents can set a protective boundary for what our children want to do and then observe. Success or failure is not important, the important thing is to give your child the opportunity to try, but also to let them know that they have the support and backing of their parents.

Do what you said

Teach your children to be trustworthy and responsible to others and to keep their promises. If you fail to do so after repeated efforts, you should sincerely explain why and apologize. Teach your child to consider carefully whether he or she is capable and sure of doing what he or she wants to do before promising someone else, and not to promise easily what he or she cannot do.

Be open-minded

Believe that children have different abilities, so be more observant, listen to their requests, and have an open mind. Parents do not need to be overly caring, they should always be warm and fuzzy, and encourage their children to be “themselves” instead of being the children we “want to be” and to walk a path that is truly theirs.

暫停面授事宜

admin — Wed, 08 Dec 2021 01:51:01 +0000

因應2019冠狀病毒疫情仍然非常嚴峻，政府採取嚴厲措施應對疫情，為防止病毒傳播，教育局於2月14日宣布繼續暫停面授課堂及校內活動至2022年3月6日止。